Kenya Weather, Warmth & Women

Dear Blog

I'm sorry.

It's been a while we spoke. So much has happened. There's so much I want to tell you. Been so busy over the past few months relocating and all, I sort of put this relationship in the backburner. I apologise my dear.

B: Relocating? 
Yes, Relocating. Relocated to Kenya a couple of months ago.

B: A couple of months?? A COUPLE OF MONTHS?? And you failed to mention? 
Calm down na. 'Twas hectic and all. Oya sorry, ma binu.

B: Hmm...okay fine. Why relocate?
It's work jare. Got this interesting assignment in Nairobi.

B: Osheyy Barrddest!!! Tell me ALL about it.
Hmm...where do I start? OK, let me tell you a couple of things that struck me when i first got here?

B: Dont you dare leave anything out!
But it's a lot na. Don't worry, i'll break this up into gists. You'll get everything in the end, trust me.

B: Ok go on, I'm listening.
Cool!
So, first thing: It's cold in Kenya!

B: Cold?
Yes. you heard me. Cold! I arrived in the middle of 'winter' - it was about 10 - 14 degrees celcius and I needed a heater and two hot water bottles to sleep warmly! It's crazy! And the most annoying part is, when I tell my naija friends that it's cold here, they say

"Cold? In Kenya?? is Kenya not in Africa?"

As if cold weather is a respecter of continents 😐

Normally, I'd go ahead and give them a quick lesson in Geography 101, about how Kenya is elevated etc etc, but these days, I just shake my head and change the subject quickly. No time.

B: Meanie!
Can't help it, mehn. Worse still, is when someone asks,

"So, Jide, how far away is Kenya from Lagos by plane?"
"Close to 6hours"
"6 hours???!!! Why na?? But that's like from here to London...."

Interesting stereotypes!

2. The people are warm! Almost Nigerian-like. Almost. (Dear Nigerians, there're no warmer people like you, anywhere in the world! Twale! 🙌). My first interaction with the Kenya people was at an offsite office meeting. I was my very calm self, sitting down and being antisocial minding my own business. When the people around me finally knew I was Nigerian, a lady said, 'I knew it! He couldn't be Kenyan. he has this Nigerian...oomph!' Which thereafter sparked a conversation whether or not Kenyan men lack this oomph quality, and some irked irate individual even went further to ask if her Kenyan husband had the oomph!

All the while, I sat there, thinking this was the very first time I've heard that word spoken out loud, at the same time smiling and basking in this supposed oomph my Nigerian heritage bestowed on me. 'Twas then I became a part of the team 😎.


3. Their girls love Nigerian men. Well...I was once corrected by a male Kenyan when he said, "Our girls don't like Nigerian men...only their money!"
And I was left wondering what the difference was between a man and his money.

By the way, Nigerians are renowned for thier largesse, and ostentatious display of wealth (mostly gotten from 'unknown' sources). Still, Mr. Man,

Also, it seems Kenya men don't show as much affection to their female partners...in words, currency and deeds (LOL) - generally speaking, that is. And since, Nigerians are renowned for their exuberant endearment, and ostentatious display of affection towards their women, Darwin's Law of Natural Selection accurately predicts that Kenyan women would naturally (lol!) gravitate towards Nigerian men and their money (however ill-gotten, and especially as they - Nigerian men - are in short supply within proximity). See how the combined laws of biology and economics are working against the poor Kenya dudes 👅.

There is a good lesson here for the Nigerian ladies: Your men are of huge value elsewhere. #AppreciateANigerianManToday

And a caveat for my Dear Future Nigerian Wife: banish fear and doubt; i'm all yours!

4. Last one for today B
B: Oh no. I was just grabbing my popcorn for more stories!
LOL. I'm a bit tired. I promise to continue next week.
B. Cross your heart?
Cross my heart.
B. Okay. go on.

So, there's so much stereotype about West Africans, it's amazing! I spent the first few months trying hard to dissociate myself from a couple of them: They say Nigerians (read West Africans) like very spicy foods (I don't!). They say Nigerians are drug dealers and conmen (read a book please). They say Nigerians can dance very well (err...for me, not so much). They say we go to clubs and spray money on our women and friends while singing PSquare's 'Chop My Money' (What now???). They say our food smells (this particular stereotype is local to the guys in the office - another story for another day B). They say we buy multiple bottles of alcoholic drinks at parties (well, this is kinda true. LOL). It's so bad that when I hang out with friends, and I'm simply drinking from my glass of red wine, someone would approach and say, "Jide, where are the bottles?? Aren't you a Nigerian??"

Anyways, i've learnt to live with it. I'm Nigerian and proud. Made up my mind to accept the good and deflect the bad. Nothing do me!

Talk to you next week B. Promise to have more juicy stories for you, as you walk with me through this journey of more success, in this land of opportunity and adventure!

Bless up!

***
Follow my wits on Twitter: @olatunbode

Day 3 - Lessons from my MBA

So it's Day 3 and I skipped Day 2. It wasn't my fault, I tell you. It's all the fault of SisiJacobs who failed to deliver the necessary prodding this time around. Well, technically it wasn't her fault too, but you see, I find it hard to blame myself, so I seek the easiest person around to cast the blame on - poor SisiJacobs. (lol!)

My human frailties aside, let's gist about something much more interesting, like my MBA experience.

I graduated from the University of Lagos with a First Class in Computer Science. I majored in Software development, and it was rumoured that I could write a program to do literally anything! (Pardon my hubris) I won a competition, or two...sought to be hired by some IT firm or two...etc. I was living the good life. Or so it seemed.

But somehow I knew there was a lot missing. There's only so much a first degree can give you in terms of knowledge. In truth, it's kind of a straightjacket experience, my first degree. I wanted to know more...to be more... I didnt want to live my life glued to a computer screen, no matter how enticing the salary. So I decided to write ACCA. Looking back now, that would've been one of the greatest mistakes of my life. Lol! I found (somewhere along the line) that crunching financial numbers could be very similar to churning out computer codes. But by some stroke of luck, I decided to do an MBA instead. Maybe the fact that I got a full scholarship helped in the decision-making process, we'll never know now, would we?

Anyways, I was in a bus yesterday, squeezed tight between two people, enroute to a meeting, and I was thinking back on how far I've grown during this two-year MBA period. When I got to the meeting, someone asked me what my greatest learning is from the MBA. After I bit of thought, I settled on the answer: The MBA changed my way of thinking! Maybe it's the hundreds of real life business cases we did, or the interactions with real business people and real business problem, or whatever. But somehow, I handle issues very differently like I would have 2 years ago. Also, I don't feel as inadequate as I felt after finishing my first degree. In fact, i feel sort of complete. Not complete like I dont need to know anything else. Far from it. Complete, as in, I now know what I know, what I need to know, and how to go about knowing it! (Lol!) It's kinda like the MBA gave me the some tools I need to make the best of my existence, in the business world and in other areas of my life. I may be overstretching it a bit, but I doubt.

No, I won't go into specifics. There's not enough time, believe me. But I'll do this. I'll tell you about the great people I met during my MBA and what my interaction with them taught me.

There's Funto, who taught me the benefit of working with a great person, and the synergies that'll ensue (Not that he's that great :p). Working with my group (Group 4) also taught me how important team selection and team diversity is. The more diverse your team, the richer the ideas it churns out. Interestingly, I also learnt that in a political situation, the best doesn't necessarily win. People (especially very smart people) always believe that their merit will speak for them. In a democracy, that doesn't always work. It's the softer (and sometimes sinister) issues like emotional attachments, what's-in-it-for-me-ness, bad blood, and even tribal sentiments, etc that goes a long way in deciding who gets what. So, if you think you're the best and you're vying for some position or resource, dont just think that by reeling out all your great accomplishments and past leadership positions people would suddenly see how great thou art. It doesn't always work that way, I've learnt.

Otisi taught me hard lessons in appreciating other people's points of view, regardless of how dissenting they may seem. Motolani taught me that love is hardwork and sacrifice. Tomi Ogunlesi taught me the essence of branding yourself and the merit it brings (and also the demerits of overdoing it). Dr. Goke taught me that no idea is useless. Ezechi awed me with his utmost selflessness. I won't say he taught me, cos I'm still learning that one. There's a lesson in my interaction with Fisayo Ojelabi...i'm still figuring that out.

A lot of people also taught me stuff with a negative connotation, but I wont mention their names. Miss X taught me that you cannot be friends with everybody. You shouldn't even try. Just make sure no one has a cogent reason to dislike you. Miss Y taught me that internal change precedes (and perhaps supercedes) external change. If you desire longlasting change, start from within.

I'll stop here. I'm sure you get the point. There's a whole lot of brain adjustment and realignment that has occured during this period. I'm glad I didn't miss out. I'm glad I did an MBA, and I'm glad I did it at the Lagos Business School.

Before the day runs out, I'll drop yesterday's post. Stay tuned.

Ciao.

Day 1 - Do Come Along

Hi everyone,

So today is the 1st of July, and I stumbled on this 30-day challange thingy I felt I should be a part of. Thanks to a lil bit of prodding from SisiJacobs, here's my first post.

Well, it's not a post as in a story, or an article, or something I usually do. I think I should use Day 1 to tell everyone what they should expect in the next 30 days. Believe me when i say it's going to be a ride you do not want to miss.

First of all, I'm going through some sort of turning point in my life. I'm rounding off my MBA at the Lagos Business School and I'm at that point where I'm beginning to ask 'What Next?' I intend doing a bit of planning, and soul searching. Would share a bit of that with you. Just a bit. hehe...

Secondly, during this period, i'd also be reading a lot of books! Mostly business management and motivational sort of books. I'm currently reading Jack Welsh's Winning, which, in my opinion, is a must read for every employee (let's ignore the employers for now. They have enough money). I'd be sharing some insights and ideas I get from them. I'll start with Winning. I promise to shock you with that post. Or not.

Ah yes! I'm launching a book soon! Sometimes this month, my book on Academic Excellence is going to be launched. It's really looking like a fun-filled month already. I'll fill you in on that one too as it develops.

And finally, my birthday is on the 16th. I'll be 85. I know...I'm old but still hot and all. I told my friends on facebook (and I'm telling you too), that I want a Nikon camera for my birthday. I know you guys love me and all, but it's time to prove it! :p

All things being equal, I should begin my first post-MBA job too. Very intense month, I tell you. You know it's at the beginning of a new job where you try to impress your bosses as much as possible - make them believe you can brew coffee from breeze leaves, etc. I'll fill you guys in on my miserable attempts. Not that this job is entirely new per se...(shhhh....I won't tell you any more. Till that day comes. Whatever day it is)

So, fasten your seatbeats, sit back and relax cos we're going to be crusing at an altitude of 33,000 feet above sea levels...bla bla bla...

Let the adventure begin.